Jokes for Show #17

More jokes for Jimmy’s monologue. Jimmy, you can always email me at my first initial (“L”) at lexfriedman.com, if you and your team decide you’d like to hire me.

• Did you see this story? It’s unbelievable: An eighth-grader in Florida was suspended from the school bus for — this is true — passing especially rancid flatulence. It gives a whole new meaning to the term “gas crisis.” Asked about his suspension, the student said: “Man, this stinks.” But we don’t know what he was referring to.
• New York Senator Charles Schumer has changed his mind, and now supports gay marriage. In a related story, Senator Charles Schumer and his longtime roommate Bob are taking an extended vacation in Vermont.
• A woman in California used a fake ID and a fake check to get breast implants. Investigators say that they can’t wait to get their hands on this case.

Tags: California, Charles Schumer, fake breasts, flatulence, Florida, gas, gay marriage, school, Vermont