Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 29, 2009
- Steve Jobs is reportedly back at work at Apple after receiving a liver transplant. He’s supposedly tasked Apple engineers with creating a new iPod dock that’s actually a doc.
- The BET awards over the weekend had a lot of tributes to Michael Jackson. The most compelling tribute, of course, was that this year, for the first time ever, nobody shot anybody at the BET awards.
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Tags: Apple, BET, iPod, liver, Michael Jackson, Steve Jobs
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 26, 2009
- There are still lots of conflicting reports about Michael Jackson’s death, and obviously all of us are still pretty sad about the whole thing. But we’re hearing reports that when it was Michael’s time to go, that Ed McMahon came to his door and told him he’d won.
- In lighter news, a baby born after just 26 weeks in England is now home with his parents. But that’s not the amazing part. The amazing part is, his parents were only 36 weeks old.
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Tags: babies, Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 25, 2009
You rarely hear about bad news on the late night talk shows. There a place where the stories of the day that are joked about are the fun, silly, or scandalous ones — not the bummers.
I think Michael Jackson’s death came too late in the day for Jimmy to mention it on his show. But I think it’s a topic he will certainly go into tomorrow. There are tasteful jokes you can make about a massive celebrity’s death, where the point isn’t to mock him, but to find whatever humor there can be in a sad situation.
- Michael Jackson, of course, passed away today. Somewhere, Jay Leno is screaming at his manager to get his show on the air now.
- Michael was only 50 years old, but it would seem that indeed, he finally got enough. (And thus, was able to stop.)
- You know, Farrah Fawctet passed away today, too. And earlier this week, we lost Ed McMahon. All I can say is Johnny Carson is putting on one hell of a show up in Heaven tonight. And on that show, Michael is being very, very weird. You know, I like to imagine that for his musical number, Michael performs Thriller, and it’s oddly inappropriate, because all the dead people dancing are actually dead.
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Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 24, 2009
- South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, who had disappeared for several days, has now admitted that he was having an affair with an Argentinian woman. For his next trick, he’s going to make his career disappear.
- The number of millionaires in the world shrank in 2008. In fact, Tom Cruise is now barely 4 and a half feet tall.
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Tags: affairs, Mark Sanford, millionaires, Tom Cruise
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 23, 2009
- Did you all hear about TLC’s latest show? Jon and Kate Plus 8 Lawyers.
- Elizabeth Hasselbeck is being sued for stealing ideas from another author for her new diet book. The author became suspicious when Hasselbeck claimed to have written a book.
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Tags: Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Jon and Kate Plus 8
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 22, 2009
- Jon and Kate have filed for divorce. TLC, the network that airs Jon and Kate Plus 8, is reportedly planning two spinoffs: Kate Plus 8, and Jon Minus Two-Thirds of His Paycheck.
- Gossip blogger Perez Hilton got punched in the face last night by a body guard for the Black Eyed Peas. His condition is listed as Fergalicious.
- After suffering 125 bug bits, Stephen Baldwin has quit NBC’s I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. The insects, meanwhile have been given the Medal of Honor. And a detailed drawing of Sanjaya.
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Tags: Black Eyed Peas, Fergie, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Perez Hilton, Sanjaya, Stephen Baldwin
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 19, 2009
- Today, Apple officially released the new iPhone 3G S. The name is actually pretty accurate, because after buying the phone and two years with AT&T, you’ll end up spending about 3 G’s.
- The man who invented the “Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed” died today at age 92. He last words were reportedly “duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh.”
- A woman accused of sharing 24 songs on the Internet was fined just under $2 million today. That’s enough for, like, 667 iPhones.
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Tags: Apple, death, file sharing, iPhone
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 18, 2009
- PETA — this is true — today said that it objected to President Obama’s having killed a fly during a television interview. I don’t really have a joke here, but do I really need one?
- Officials have been unable to close a loophole that legalizes prostitution indoors in Rhode Island. Now, they’re considering embracing the law instead, starting with their new state motto: “The island’s not the only thing that got Rhode.”
- Jon and Kate, of Jon and Kate Plus Eight, promise a so-called major announcement on their show on Monday. I’m guessing it’s that they’re planning on finally admitting — that they killed a fly.
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Tags: Barack Obama, fly, Jon and Kate Plus 8, prostitution, Rhode Island
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 17, 2009
An overly busy day prevents me from writing jokes — it’s the first day I’ve missed in nearly 70 shows. Sorry!
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Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 16, 2009
- MySpace is cutting more than 300 jobs in an effort to save costs. So I guess Tom has a lot fewer friends now.
- Some Ohio residents were given parking tickets while parked in their own driveways, because of a law that prohibits parking on gravel. But honestly, guys, that’s fair — he’s an old man, don’t park on him!
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Tags: Mike Gravel, MySpace, Ohio, tickets