Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 22, 2009
- Jon and Kate have filed for divorce. TLC, the network that airs Jon and Kate Plus 8, is reportedly planning two spinoffs: Kate Plus 8, and Jon Minus Two-Thirds of His Paycheck.
- Gossip blogger Perez Hilton got punched in the face last night by a body guard for the Black Eyed Peas. His condition is listed as Fergalicious.
- After suffering 125 bug bits, Stephen Baldwin has quit NBC’s I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. The insects, meanwhile have been given the Medal of Honor. And a detailed drawing of Sanjaya.
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Tags: Black Eyed Peas, Fergie, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Perez Hilton, Sanjaya, Stephen Baldwin
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 19, 2009
- Today, Apple officially released the new iPhone 3G S. The name is actually pretty accurate, because after buying the phone and two years with AT&T, you’ll end up spending about 3 G’s.
- The man who invented the “Magic Fingers Vibrating Bed” died today at age 92. He last words were reportedly “duhduhduhduhduhduhduhduh.”
- A woman accused of sharing 24 songs on the Internet was fined just under $2 million today. That’s enough for, like, 667 iPhones.
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Tags: Apple, death, file sharing, iPhone
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 18, 2009
- PETA — this is true — today said that it objected to President Obama’s having killed a fly during a television interview. I don’t really have a joke here, but do I really need one?
- Officials have been unable to close a loophole that legalizes prostitution indoors in Rhode Island. Now, they’re considering embracing the law instead, starting with their new state motto: “The island’s not the only thing that got Rhode.”
- Jon and Kate, of Jon and Kate Plus Eight, promise a so-called major announcement on their show on Monday. I’m guessing it’s that they’re planning on finally admitting — that they killed a fly.
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Tags: Barack Obama, fly, Jon and Kate Plus 8, prostitution, Rhode Island
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 17, 2009
An overly busy day prevents me from writing jokes — it’s the first day I’ve missed in nearly 70 shows. Sorry!
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Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 16, 2009
- MySpace is cutting more than 300 jobs in an effort to save costs. So I guess Tom has a lot fewer friends now.
- Some Ohio residents were given parking tickets while parked in their own driveways, because of a law that prohibits parking on gravel. But honestly, guys, that’s fair — he’s an old man, don’t park on him!
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Tags: Mike Gravel, MySpace, Ohio, tickets
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 15, 2009
It’s the first palindromic episode number in 11 shows! AMAZING!
- Heidi and Spencer are on the show tonight, so I won’t make any jokes about the vicious interview with Al Roker this morning on The Today Show. Besides, I’m afraid that Al Roker might eat me.
- A new website called Hunch launched today, and it aims to help you make decisions by using the wisdom of other Internet users. In my testing, no matter what I tried, Hunch suggested I should go watch some porn. (So it works pretty well!)
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Tags: Al Roker, Heidi and Spencer, Hunch, porn, Today
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 12, 2009
- Former President George Bush celebrated his 85th birthday today by skydiving. It’s the first time ever that the senior Bush has been higher than W.
- Heidi Montag, from I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, announced today that she’ll pose for Playboy, as part of the magazine’s “I’m a Talentless Hack, Get My Clothes Off of Me” issue.
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Tags: George Bush, George W. Bush, Heidi Montag, Playboy
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 11, 2009
- Sonny and Cher’s daughter Chastity has announced that she’s been undergoing treatment to become a man. Her mother Cher announced that now she plans to complete her transformation into a human.
- The World Health Organization has declared a true Swine Flue Pandemic. Yeah, they’re recommending that you block your windows and doors with bacon.
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Tags: Chastity Bono, Cher, swine flu, WHO
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 10, 2009
- Breaking news: Adam Lambert is still gay. I did not see that one coming. Almost as shocking as when he first came out, right?
- A bill in Congress would make it illegal for television commercials to be louder than TV shows themselves. So after talking to executives here at NBC, WE’RE MAKING SOME CHANGES TO LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON!
- Former Playboy playmate and Hugh Hefner’s ex Kendra Wilkinson is expecting a baby with her fiancee, Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett. The baby will join Kendra’s great pair of twins.
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Tags: Adam Lambert, congress, gay, Hank Baskett, Hugh Hefner, Jimmy Fallon, jokes, Kendra Wilkinson, Philadelphia Eagles, Playboy, TV
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 9, 2009
- Newt Gingrich said at a Republican fundraiser that President Obama has, quote, “already failed.” The test, of course, was “Sucking Worst Than The Last Guy.” Obama’s definitely failing at that one.
- American Idol runner-up announced today that he was gay. Yeah. In another shocker, he announced that he’s a human being. Equally remarkable, right? How totally unexpected.
- Britney Spears has announced her first ever Australian tour. It’ll be her first time showing her down under, down under.
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Tags: Adam Lambert, American Idol, Australia, Barack Obama, Britney Spears, Newt Gingrich