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Jokes for Show #16
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 23, 2009
Wow. 16 shows. Feels like just three weeks ago we were on Show #1. Here are some joke suggestions for tonight’s show, in my ongoing quest to show Jimmy and his team that they ought to hire me for their writing staff.
- Both Lance Armstrong and Today host Matt Lauer were injured in bicycling accidents today. Lauer’s bike crash was actually more serious… Now, between him and Lance, they have exactly two testicles.
- Actually, Lance broke his collarbone, and it’s unclear whether he’ll be able to compete in the Tour de France this summer. It’s thus also unclear whether anyone in America will bother watching the Tour de France.
- Bruce Willis married his model/actress girlfriend over the weekend. Yeah, she’s 24 years younger than he is. I’d make a joke about that, but, uh, I don’t want Bruce to come kick my ass. Ashton Kutcher was there, along with Demi Moore. Which was good, because then Ashton and Bruce’s new wife could sit together at the kids’ table.
- Insurance giant AIG had workmen out on the front of their building here in New York City over the weekend, tearing down the name AIG and putting up a new sign with the company’s new name. It’s called: CLOSED.