Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon! will have a major announcement, potentially as early as tomorrow. No, I haven’t been hired by Jimmy Fallon yet, but the news is still interesting. You might also have heard of my other site, The Snuggie Sutra, which has taken the web by storm (and even scored a shout-out on The Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien last Friday night).

But you don’t care about that. You’re here for the joke suggestions. Here they are!

• Researchers at MIT have created a school of robotic fish. And none of the fish in that school would ever be bored enough to make robotic humans.
• Chris Brown says he doesn’t remember hitting Rihanna, saying he must have blacked out. Like Rihanna’s eyes.
• Much of Los Angeles continues to be threatened by a massive fire. Or, as the Californians are calling it, a massive downsize.

• Bernie Madoff, the 70-year-old trader accused of defrauding investors of billions, will be pleading guilty, and could be sentenced to 150 years in prison. With good behavior, he could be released right before his 200th birthday.
• A first edition Harry Potter book was sold for $19,000. And they say there’s a recession! Specifically, it was Harry Potter and the Disappearing Savings Account.
• Coolio has been charged with crack cocaine possession. We talked about it in the writer’s room, and we decided this story needs so punchline: Coolio’s enough of a joke as it is.
• Chris Brown and Rhianna are reportedly recording a duet together. It’s reportedly a remake, entitled “Anything you can do, I can do battered.”

Boom! Good luck with tonight’s show, Jimmy!

• Nickelodeon won’t withdraw Chris Brown’s name from contention as “Favorite Male Singer” in the Kids Choice Awards, in spite of his recent legal issues. According to Nickelodeon, they won’t withdraw Chris’s name, because he can beat anyone.
• Federal charges were filed today against the college student who hacked into the email account of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. The student is expected to plead “not guilty, by virtue of being a Nigerian prince.”
• It was announced today that Ashlee Simpson will star on the CW’s remake of Melrose Place. But Tori Spelling will read the lines for her from off-camera.
• Dakota Fanning signed on to play the lead vampire in the upcoming sequel to the movie Twilight. Dakota Fanning in a vampire movie? That setup is ripe for jokes. I can’t wait to sink my teeth into that one.

This was honestly my least favorite of the first three monologues Jimmy’s done. The opening Madonna joke did nothing for me. The Chris Brown / asteroid joke was funny (“The asteroid could have done as much damage as two atomic bombs. Or one night with Chris Brown!”), but I’m thinking Jimmy needs to give himself a roll of punchlines to run through on great setups like that. (“Heck, it could have done as much damage as Rosie O’Donnell at a buffet. Or OJ Simpson at a place where people are living.”)

As promised, Jimmy continues to make lots of references to modern living and technology, with his second Facebook reference in two shows (Iraqis can get on Facebook now — if your face is covered with a veil), and his second dig at Microsoft, too. But there weren’t enough solid laugh lines — more the “applause” lines. Jimmy showed on Weekend Update that he can generate actual laughs at his topical jokes, and doesn’t need to settle for the Jay Leno-esque “that was a joke” recognition applause.

The “Bromance Novels” bit was cute, and the audience seemed to really enjoy it.

I’ll post some joke suggestions for tonight’s show a bit later on.