Jokes for Shows #81, 82, and 83

I’ve been in California for work, which has made joke-writing time more scarce. Here are more jokes than usual, to make up for my absence:

• The “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” dog has died. But his memory will live on in Taco Bell. Specifically, in the tacos they serve.
• Jon Gosselin, of Jon and Kate Plus 8, has been photographed cavorting with various women since his very public separation from his wife, Kate. That’s right: A man who’s gonna have to pay child support for nearly a baseball team’s worth of kids is still more attractive to women than you.
• Amazon.com today bought Internet retailer Zappos.com for 800 million dollars. That’s enough to buy nearly seven Kindles.
• A mother has been arrested for neglect for allowing her teenage son to balloon to 555 pounds. In fact, we have a photo of the mother here:
  
• Actor Stephen Baldwin has filed for bankruptcy. Meanwhile, his brother Alec has filed for excessive handsomeness.

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Tags: Alec Baldwin, Amazon, dog, Jon and Kate Plus 8, obesity, Stephen Baldwin, Taco Bell, whales, Zappos