Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon! » Donald Trump

Jokes for Show #79

Lex Friedman — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 21:19:40 +0000

Mischa Barton has reportedly been placed under involuntary psychiatric hold. By an evil hypnotist. (beat) Oh, what’s that? That would be an involuntary psychic hold, my mistake.
Donald Trump’s daughter Ivanka announced on Twitter that she’s gotten engaged. In future news, Ivanka Trump has posted on Twitter that she’s getting divorced. Technology is amazing.
Paul McCartney says that reports of feuding between him and the late Michael Jackson were always very exaggerated, and that the two never really had a blow-up. That’s not surprising, since McCartney died in 1966.
In a surprise development, the American Medical Association has endorsed the House bill for President Obama’s national health care policy. Sadly, though, they immediately declared that nationalized health care causes cancer in lab rats.

Jokes for Show #41

Lex Friedman — Tue, 12 May 2009 00:24:16 +0000

Past 40. Jimmy — call me already! And more specifically, hire me!

Joan Rivers won Donald Trump’s “Celebrity Apprentice.” Which was an interesting wrinkle.
Did you see the new Star Trek movie this weekend? Yeah? You nerd. The good news is, the movie took in almost $80 million this weekend, so you’re not alone. Well, you were alone AT the movie theater, but so was everyone else.
The White House today said that the federal budget deficit will reach nearly $2 trillion next year, the highest amount ever. It’s those darn predatory lenders!

Thoughts on Show #4

Lex Friedman — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:11:49 +0000

Jimmy started the monologue much more confidently Thursday night. Well done, sir.

His opener to greet the crowd: “You sound excited — I guess you missed the first three [shows].” Love self-deprecation. In fact, I think it’d be great for Jimmy to have some self-deprecating crowd greeting each night. We shall see.

Although I thought Jimmy looked less jittery tonight, I did in all honesty think the monologue leaned a little too close to to the “applause line” vs. “laugh line” side.

The noteworthy moments included Jimmy’s afterthought following the Bill Gates joke (he doesn’t let his kids use an iPhone or iPod; they have to amuse themselves by playing with piles of money). He then added, “It’s a fun game.” And then: “Not that I would know.” Heheheh. Jimmy, it’s okay to acknowledge that you’re a wealthy man! We love ya for it!

I was also intrigued by Jimmy’s joke about the New Jersey lottery winners (though he didn’t use mine): He said that the $260 million winners, under Obama’s tax plan, would now owe $300 mil. You don’t hear too many jokes attacking Obama and his policies yet, and I love that Jimmy went there. (Regardless of whether you like the president, which Jimmy and I both do, there’s no sense treating him as a sacred cow during Late Night.)

Jimmy and his writing staff are packing a lot of bits before the interviews. Last night there was a goofy “Flashback Master” skit, a sketch with Donald Trump, the audience president elections, and a follow-up with the new audience president all before Donald was brought out around the 15-minute mark. I love the idea of doing more sketches and bits; my sole complaint is that I thought the monologue got clipped a bit. It felt very short last night.

I’ll be back with joke suggestions for Jimmy’s first Friday show later today.