Posted by Lex Friedman on Sep 2, 2009
- Spencer Pratt says he is legally changing his name to King Spencer Pratt. Now he’s officially a royal pain in the ass.
- President Obama will address a joint session of Congress to push lawmakers on his health care plan. You just knew they’d never pass health care reform without needing a joint.
- The FDA says the gross blob a Florida man poured out of his Diet Pepsi can was, in fact, a frog or a toad. That’s in keeping with Pepsi’s new slogan: “The choice of a newt generation.”
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Tags: Barack Obama, Congres, Florida, health care, Pepsi, Spencer Pratt
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 24, 2009
More jokes for Jimmy’s monologue. Jimmy, you can always email me at my first initial (“L”) at lexfriedman.com, if you and your team decide you’d like to hire me.
- Did you see this story? It’s unbelievable: An eighth-grader in Florida was suspended from the school bus for — this is true — passing especially rancid flatulence. It gives a whole new meaning to the term “gas crisis.” Asked about his suspension, the student said: “Man, this stinks.” But we don’t know what he was referring to.
- New York Senator Charles Schumer has changed his mind, and now supports gay marriage. In a related story, Senator Charles Schumer and his longtime roommate Bob are taking an extended vacation in Vermont.
- A woman in California used a fake ID and a fake check to get breast implants. Investigators say that they can’t wait to get their hands on this case.
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Tags: California, Charles Schumer, fake breasts, flatulence, Florida, gas, gay marriage, school, Vermont