Posted by Lex Friedman on May 1, 2009
It’s my wife’s birthday today, and Jimmy’s still on vacation, so just one joke for you tonight:
- With the number of panicked Americans who’ve sneezed or coughed and placed terrified calls to their doctors, government officials are now renaming the virus “Wine Flu.”
Zing!
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Tags: doctors, flu, swine flu
Posted by Lex Friedman on Apr 27, 2009
Don’t forget that Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon! will be on Detroit’s 106.7 FM Tuesday morning at 10am! You can listen live. Unless we’re all dead from Swine Flu first.
- Anybody here have swine flu yet? Oh, who am I kidding, we all do.
- “Swine flu,” or as Alec Baldwin described it to his daughter… “Flu.”
- But seriously, this swine flu situation is scary. I mean, really, genuinely scary. First of all, I want to know who was making out with a pig. Because I think that’s how it jumps from pigs to humans, right?
- The World Health Organization today raised its “pandemic flu alert level” to 4, for the first time ever. New Yorkers are urged to report any suspicious sneezes they see on the subway.
- Oh, breaking news — this just in: Porky Pig is dead. I know, it’s tragic. He is survived by the delicious smell of bacon.
- Mexico, which has been hardest-hit by this swine flu outbreak, also suffered a serious earthquake today. Experts believe it was caused by one million Mexicans coughing up swine flu lugies in unison.
Update: I hadn’t realized that Jimmy was off this week. So, all week long, I’m writing Jokes and Jimmy’s not even on the air!
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Tags: Alec Baldwin, flu, jokes, Mexico, New York, swine flu, WHO