Posted by Lex Friedman on Apr 7, 2009
Jimmy’s still off. I spent 11+ hours on air travel today, but I’m still devoted to giving him jokes that he simply can’t use. That’s dedication. Or insanity. Or both.
- Jessica Simpson says she doesn’t mind that Eminem makes fun of her for gaining weight in one of his new songs. At least, we think that’s what she said. It was hard to understand her with the cheeseburger in her mouth.
- Vermont is the latest state to legalize gay marriage. Vermont, of course, has reportedly been dating New Hampshire on the sly for months.
Okay, I’m tired and jet lagged. Forgive me. Hilarity will re-ensue tomorrow.
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Tags: airplanes, cheeseburgers, Eminem, gay marriage, Jessica Simpson, jokes, New Hampshire, travel, Vermont
Posted by Lex Friedman on Apr 3, 2009
- Billionaire and News Corp CEO Rupert Murdoch says that more newspapers should be charging for their online editions. Reached for comment, everyone else on the Internet disagreed with him.
- The US Postal Service is cutting another 1500 jobs. The extra bad news for the employees getting laid off is that supposedly, their severance checks are all, uh, “in the mail.” That’s unfortunate.
- Domino’s accidentally gave away 11,000 free pizzas on their website. Even more unfortunately for Domino’s, they had to deliver them all to Nigeria. Do you know how hard that is to do in 30 minutes?!
- Iowa today became the first state in the Midwest to approve same-sex marriages. In a survey of gay couples in Iowa, BOTH of them are really excited about the new law.
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Tags: Domino's, economy, gay marriage, Internet, Iowa, layoffs, newspapers, Nigeria, pizza, Rupert Murdoch, US Postal Service
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 24, 2009
More jokes for Jimmy’s monologue. Jimmy, you can always email me at my first initial (“L”) at lexfriedman.com, if you and your team decide you’d like to hire me.
- Did you see this story? It’s unbelievable: An eighth-grader in Florida was suspended from the school bus for — this is true — passing especially rancid flatulence. It gives a whole new meaning to the term “gas crisis.” Asked about his suspension, the student said: “Man, this stinks.” But we don’t know what he was referring to.
- New York Senator Charles Schumer has changed his mind, and now supports gay marriage. In a related story, Senator Charles Schumer and his longtime roommate Bob are taking an extended vacation in Vermont.
- A woman in California used a fake ID and a fake check to get breast implants. Investigators say that they can’t wait to get their hands on this case.
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Tags: California, Charles Schumer, fake breasts, flatulence, Florida, gas, gay marriage, school, Vermont