Posted by Lex Friedman on Apr 13, 2009
It’s my 31st day of writing jokes for Jimmy Fallon, and his 26th show. If only he were paying me for this. And using my jokes. And my hair were curlier.
- Legendary music producer Phil Spector has been found guilty… of looking WAY too much like Clay Aiken:
- Mel Gibson’s wife has filed for divorce. In the divorce filings, she blamed the Jews. That does seem like the Gibson way.
- The Obama family finally has the two dog that President Obama promised his daughters on the campaign trail. So, even though Hillary lost, there’s still a bitch in the White House.
- Porn star Marilyn Chambers died over the weekend in her California home. She is survived by her two, much younger breasts.
No Comments
Tags: Barack Obama, Clay Aiken, divorce, dogs, Hillary Clinton, Juadaism, Marilyn Chambers, Mel Gibson, Phil Spector, porn, White House
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 25, 2009
My latest batch of monologue jokes. Jimmy — call me!
- Breaking news: The economy still sucks. The Metropolitan Transportation Agency has decided to raise subway fares, and cut some service here in New York. Yeah, as part of the cutbacks, they’re going to stop piping in that delicious “old urine” smell, which is a real shame.
- HBO is prepping a movie about Bill and Hillary Clinton. Julianne Moore’s playing Hillary, and for Bill Clinton, they wanted to find the perfect man for the role, so they cast Ron Jeremy. The resemblance is striking.
- A British teenager painted a giant penis on the roof of his parents’ house, hoping it would be seen using Google Earth. But the teenager was, in fact, an even bigger dick.
- President Obama is taking questions from Internet surfers on WhiteHouse.gov. So far, the top questions are: “A/S/L?” and “Will you follow me on Twitter?”
- The Post Office today warned congress that they’re billions of dollars in debt, and could go completely bankrupt this year, or need to layoff thousands of postal workers. Yeah, because that’s just what we need: Thousands of disgruntled postal employees. What could possibly go wrong?
No Comments
Tags: Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, economy, Hillary Clinton, Internet, layoffs, New York, Postal Service, Ron Jeremy, subway, Twitter
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 7, 2009
Jimmy again seemed pretty relaxed at the start of his monologue. And, to my great pleasure, he scored a few nice laugh lines. Well done, sir!
I loved the line about Sanjay Gupta withdrawing consideration as a potential Surgeon General, since he wants to stay at CNN — because he just gets paid too much to keep Larry King alive. He made a few Michael Jackson jokes, and made his second Obama dis, again about the tax plan. (Daylight savings time will add two hours, instead of one.)
My favorite monologue joke was his closer, about Esquire’s list of the best dressed men. Obama came in at number 4. Number one? Hillary Clinton.
A great show to end his first week, and I wish Jimmy a hearty congratulations. I also wish Jimmy would hire me already. I’ve been applying longer than applicants spend at Google!
I’ll be back Monday with suggestions for that day’s show.
1 Comment
Tags: Barack Obama, CNN, Google, Hillary Clinton, Jimm Fallon, jokes, Larry King, Michael Jackson, Sanjay Gupta