Posted by Lex Friedman on May 29, 2009
Today’s show number marks Jimmy’s first palindromic episode since a whopping eleven episodes ago. Amazing, no?!
- Jon and Kate, of Jon and Kate Plus 8, are being investigated in Pennsylvania for possible violations of the state’s child labor laws, relating to their use of their kids on camera. I’m not surprised, you know? I mean, calling your kids “sextuplets” just seems inappropriate at that age. They’re too young to talk about sex.
- Just before our show started, of course, Jay Leno hosted his last episode of The Tonight Show. Jay told his audience that he’s happy to be going out on top. Yeah, he’s so on top, he’s actually higher than Kevin Eubanks.
- No, I’m kidding. It’s not possible to be higher than Kevin Eubanks.
- In all seriousness, congratulations to Jay, and to Conan O’Brien, who’ll be taking over The Tonight Show starting this Monday. Conan surely knows, it’s gonna be tough to step into Jay’s shoes. And even tougher to settle into his chin strap.
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Tags: Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Jon and Kate Plus 8, Kevin Eubanks, pot, sex
Posted by Lex Friedman on May 25, 2009
Thanks, Jimmy!
I realize now that the number one reason Jimmy Fallon & Co. haven’t yet hired me is that they didn’t want to force me to work on Memorial Day. I appreciate that, guys, because we had a great day with family today, and if I was already working for the show, that might not have been possible. But if Jimmy’s working, I’ve gotta pen (keyboard?) a few quick jokes:
- Today is Memorial Day. And of course, we want to take a moment to honor all who’ve served our country in the armed forces. We owe you so much. I, for one, shudder to think how weak the United States would be if we had to rely on unarmed forces. You can’t even hold a gun if you’re armless, I think. Unless you somehow hold it with your teeth.
- The website Twitter is in the planning stages of a reality show focused about the site. The show’s expected to be canceled after exactly 140 seconds.
- Jay Leno will leave the Tonight Show this Friday night. His chin should be gone by the following Tuesday.
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Tags: Jay Leno, Memorial Day, TV, Twitter
Posted by Lex Friedman on Apr 24, 2009
Another Friday show. Good times.
- A report released today says that birds crash into planes leaving LaGuardia airport about once a week. A spokesman for birds said, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” as a plane crashed into him. That’s unfortunate. I hope they have another spokesman. Or spokesbird.
- My friend Jay Leno had to cancel his shows yesterday and today after being briefly hospitalized. One report now says that Jay got hurt attempting to ride his motorcycle. Yeah, he tried to tighten the chin strap. Ouch.
- No, I’m kidding, Jay’s doing fine, and all of us here at Late Night can’t wait till he’s back on the air. And I know David Letterman sent a gift basket, filled with undercooked meats and cyanide. He’s so thoughtful.
- The NFL draft starts this weekend. It’s the one time of year that pudgy white guys get more excited about college MEN in uniforms.
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Tags: airplanes, birds, chin, college, David Letterman, draft, Jay Leno, jokes, LaGuardia, NFL
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 20, 2009
Three weeks of shows! Amazing. Jimmy continues to settle into his new role nicely, and I think the show continues to improve. I love the wide-ranging variety of comedy bits they’ve been incorporating.
Here are some joke suggestions for tonight’s show. If Jimmy and his team think I’d be a good person to add to the show’s writing staff, they know where to find me!
- Two US Navy vessels collided this morning in the Strait of Hormuz. And I learned a new pickup line: Hey baby, let’s collide like a pair of US Navy vessels. President Obama said in a statement, “I haven’t seen a crash this bad since the economy.”
- Fred Durst today said that he really enjoyed his Britney Spears relationship. But, if you’re like me, you have no recollection of just who the heck Fred Durst is.
- Oprah Winfrey has invited Ellen Degeneres to share the cover of O magazine. The only other time Oprah shared the cover was with First Lady Michelle Obama. Yeah, apparently Ellen’s only remaining dream is to get under the covers with Oprah.
- The US Postal Service is cutting 1400 jobs, which should save them millions of dollars, or with the latest price hike, 12 stamps.
- On the Tonight Show last night, President Obama made a joke comparing his bowling to the Special Olympics — a remark he later apologized for, saying, “I should have said, ‘I bowl as well as you white people play basketball.’”
- March Madness is now completely underway. But with the economy as bad as it is, this year it’s known as March Unhappiness.
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Tags: Barack Obama, basketball, bowling, Britney Spears, economy, Ellen Degeneres, Fred Durst, Jay Leno, jokes, March Madness, Michelle Obama, Navy, O Magazine, Oprah Winfrey, Postal Service, Special Olympics, Tonight Show
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 16, 2009
- New Jersey may ban professional Brazilian waxes. Because if there’s anything you want done by an amateur, it’s the application of hot wax to remove hair from your vagina, right ladies?
- Chevy Chase will return to prime-time television, with a supporting role in a fall pilot for NBC. In future news, that show has been cancelled. Actually as of… NOW, I’ve had this show longer than Chevy Chase had his late night talk show. So congratulations, everyone!
- New research says that some children may be freed of their peanut allergies if they eat a tiny crumb of peanut every day for weeks. And.. the rest of them will die. So… Yay?
- A judge has withdrawn a warrant that had been out for Lindsay Lohan, after realizing that in fact, no, Lindsay Lohan can’t even get arrested in this town anymore.
- President Barack Obama will appear on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno this week. And it’s gonna be a solid evening for late night on NBC that day, because I have Carrot Top and Roseanne. Yeah, you’re not going to want to miss that. But seriously, Tonight Show producers are reportedly trying really hard to book Pinnochio as well. That way, they can have the biggest nose, chin, and ears in world history, all in one place.
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Tags: Barack Obama, Chevy Chase, Jay Leno, jokes, kids, Lindsay Lohan, New Jersey, peanuts, Pinnochio
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 5, 2009
Last night’s show was solid. I thought Jimmy actually seemed more nervous during (and immediately prior to) his monologue; he showed some nervous laughter before he even got underway.
This was honestly my least favorite of the first three monologues Jimmy’s done. The opening Madonna joke did nothing for me. The Chris Brown / asteroid joke was funny (“The asteroid could have done as much damage as two atomic bombs. Or one night with Chris Brown!”), but I’m thinking Jimmy needs to give himself a roll of punchlines to run through on great setups like that. (“Heck, it could have done as much damage as Rosie O’Donnell at a buffet. Or OJ Simpson at a place where people are living.”)
As promised, Jimmy continues to make lots of references to modern living and technology, with his second Facebook reference in two shows (Iraqis can get on Facebook now — if your face is covered with a veil), and his second dig at Microsoft, too. But there weren’t enough solid laugh lines — more the “applause” lines. Jimmy showed on Weekend Update that he can generate actual laughs at his topical jokes, and doesn’t need to settle for the Jay Leno-esque “that was a joke” recognition applause.
The “Bromance Novels” bit was cute, and the audience seemed to really enjoy it.
I’ll post some joke suggestions for tonight’s show a bit later on.
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Tags: Bromance Novels, Chris Brown, Facebook, Iraq, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, jokes, Madonna, Microsoft, OJ Simpson, Rosie O'Donnell, Weekend Update
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 2, 2009
Late Night With Jimmy Fallon officially debuts tonight. I’m sure Jimmy’s excited, and he’s not the only one. For me, this marks the real beginning of my interactive application to work for Jimmy and his show.
The intro show is an unusual challenge. You (obviously) want to be funny, and you’re setting a tone. Your first episode will be the one reviewers cite, and it’s how you introduce yourself to a new audience. I’m assuming Jimmy’s comedy voice on the show will end up involving a lot of self-deprecation, general niceness, and just a lot of silliness.
Some monologue suggestions for tonight, trying to play on those (which I perceive as Jimmy’s strengths):
- My debut tonight isn’t just a fulfillment of one of my lifelong dreams — it’s one of my mother’s as well. Ever since I was a kid, I can remember her saying: “Jimmy, I would one day love to be the meat in a Jay Leno/Carson Daly sandwich.
- Of course, soon that’ll be a Conan/Carson sandwich instead. Well, really, Leno will be on at 10, he’s the appetizer. Conan’s the main course, and I’m dessert. Which makes Carson Daly the post-meal purging, I guess.
- We had nearly a foot of snow fall in New York City since yesterday. I haven’t seen this much snow since… Ooh! You pick your favorite punchline.
- … since I was backstage at a Jonas Brothers concert
- … since the last time Joaquin Phoenix ran his hand through his hair
- … since the day I got offered this show, and checked the weather forcast in Hell!
I’m pumped to see what Jimmy and his writers come up with for tonight, and I look forward to watching the show’s early evolution. The first season of Conan looks positively ancient when you watch it today; will these first Fallon-hosted Late Nights one day seem like relics compared to where the show ends up?
The only way I could be more eager to see what develops on Late Night With Jimmy Falon would be if I, y’know, worked there. Jimmy: Call me!
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Tags: Carson Daly, Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Joaquin Phoenix, jokes, Jonas Brothers
Posted by Lex Friedman on Feb 28, 2009
I graduated from college in 2002. I spent several months of my senior year sending daily postcards to Jay Leno. Each weekday, I’d write a postcard about the previous night’s monologue, highlighting my favorite jokes and also suggesting other topical jokes I would have made.
My goal, of course, was to convince Jay that my hilarity, dedication, and quickness would be good reason for him to hire me as his newest staff writer. After a few months, I got a phone call from someone on Jay’s staff. She kindly, patiently explained that a) Jay’s writing staff had been with him for approximately 300 years; b) there was never any turnover; and c) he wasn’t hiring. In other words: “Thanks, but shut the hell up.”
Fast forward seven years. Jay’s moving to 10pm, and he works in LA, while I’ve since moved to New Jersey. Jimmy Fallon, on the other hand, is just starting his new Late Night, and of course broadcasts from New York City. Jimmy’s pretty plugged in — he Twitters, posts stuff from his show online, etc. So I can save money on postage for the postcards, and write my daily missives to Jimmy here instead.
What’s my goal? To gain Jimmy’s attention, for one. And then, even more importantly, to get a job working for him. It’s been a lifelong goal of mine to be funny for a living. And while I’ve come close from time to time, I’ve never had a full-time job doing comedy. I’m hoping to impress Jimmy enough that I can finally achieve my goal.
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Tags: Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, minutiae