Jokes for Show #46

Posted by Lex Friedman on May 18, 2009

Researches have concluded that coffee, which was once thought to be a mostly unhealthy choice, could protect against diabetes, liver cancer and Parkinson’s disease. And if you’re wondering how to prepare your coffee for maximum healthiness, Dr. Wesley Snipes suggests that you always bet on black.
Vice President Joe Biden confirmed over the weekend that there’s a secret bunker underneath the Vice President’s official residence. Yeah, Biden said he recognized it when he went into the basement, and Dick Cheney was hiding there.
Penelope Cruz couldn’t make a planned appearance during an event at Cannes today. So organizers sent Salma Hayek instead, and no one noticed the difference.

Jokes for Vacation Day #9

Posted by Lex Friedman on Apr 30, 2009

Jimmy’s still off. But I’m still ON! But I’m taking it easy…

There are now more than 100 reported cases of swine flu in the United States. Man, a virus jumping from pigs to humans… It just doesn’t seem Kosher.
Vice President Joe Biden today said that he’d tell his family members to avoid airplanes and subways for the next few weeks. The White House later released a statement, saying that in fact, they’ve now injected Joe Biden with swine flu. Wow. Barack Obama sounds like a tough boss.
Elizabeth Edwards writes in her new book that her husband John Edwards first told her about his affair, she ran to the bathroom and threw up. But that was because she thought he’d had the affair with Senator John Kerry. That’s an honest mistake.