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Jokes for Show #10
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 13, 2009
Jimmy’s had a solid week of monologues. Here are my suggestions for tonight’s:
- This past week was the best week of 2009 for Wall Street. Yeah, they only lost eighty bajillion dollars. So congratulations, everyone!
- One day after admitting guilt in a massive Ponzie scheme, Bernie Madoff has filed an appeal asking to get out of jail. He realizes that, even though he was essentially playing with Monopoly money, he can’t use a “Get of Jail Free” card, right? If they do let him out, will they have to let him collect $200?
- Ten children at a day care center drank wiper fluid after a staffer served it from a container he thought contained Kool Aid. The kids were all fine, but then the bus driver crashed because his windshield was covered in Triple Awesome Grape.
- Michael Jackson’s 50 farewell concerts in London have sold out. Which reminds me a lot of Macaulay Culkin’s 11th birthday party. Because at both events, Michael Jackson used his mouth to make a lot of people happy.