Here are some jokes for tonight’s show:

• Barack Obama now passed his first 100 days in office. Or, as former president George W. Bush calls it, “about a year or two.”
• Scientists now say that swine flu isn’t as bad as scary as they initially thought. Relieved, two of the The Three Little pigs have now stepped out of their homes, and were promptly eaten by The Big Bad Wolf. Eesh.
• I guess there are things more dangerous than swine flu. The late two little pigs are survived, as always, by the delicious smell of bacon.
• The Supreme Court issued a ruling saying that a court that previously ruled CBS should not half to pay a half-million dollar fine for Janet Jackson’s Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction, should reconsider that decision. In its ruling, the Supreme Court said: “CBS should have gotten her to take off that weird nipple ring, because it blocked the view.” I’m guessing Clarence Thomas wrote that.