Jokes for Show #56

Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 1, 2009

Susan Boyle ended up losing Britain’s Got Talent, and ended up admitting herself to a clinic for exhaustion. I’m not sure why she’s so tired. Probably from running through my mind all day. Where she was being chased with pitchforks and torches.
An Air France jet disappeared earlier today. The Smoke Monster is wanted for questioning.
Earlier today, Dick Cheney came out in favor of gay marriage, and said explicitly that there was no link between 9/11 and Saddam Hussein. Also today: Hell froze over.

Jokes for Vacation Day #8

Posted by Lex Friedman on Apr 29, 2009

Jimmy’s still off, so I’m offering limited jokes today:

President Obama plans to address the nation tonight, but the Fox network won’t carry his speech. Instead, they’re planning to show a new episode of the show “Lie to Me.” Which I believe will be a re-run of one of former President George W. Bush’s speeches, actually.
Tonight, ABC’s Lost will show its 100th episode. And for the 100th time, at the end of that episode, everyone in the audience will say, “Huh?”
And of course, swine flu is still on everyone’s mind. It turns out that this little piggy, the one that cried “wee wee wee” all the way home — was sick with swine flu. That explains the screaming.