Thoughts on Show #5

Jimmy again seemed pretty relaxed at the start of his monologue. And, to my great pleasure, he scored a few nice laugh lines. Well done, sir!

I loved the line about Sanjay Gupta withdrawing consideration as a potential Surgeon General, since he wants to stay at CNN — because he just gets paid too much to keep Larry King alive. He made a few Michael Jackson jokes, and made his second Obama dis, again about the tax plan. (Daylight savings time will add two hours, instead of one.)

My favorite monologue joke was his closer, about Esquire’s list of the best dressed men. Obama came in at number 4. Number one? Hillary Clinton.

A great show to end his first week, and I wish Jimmy a hearty congratulations. I also wish Jimmy would hire me already. I’ve been applying longer than applicants spend at Google!

I’ll be back Monday with suggestions for that day’s show.

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Tags: Barack Obama, CNN, Google, Hillary Clinton, Jimm Fallon, jokes, Larry King, Michael Jackson, Sanjay Gupta

Jokes for Show #4

• Terrell Owens was cut by the Dallas Cowboys today. Apparently, they couldn’t find a helmet that fit him.
• A report out today suggests that Sarah Palin’s sex appeal may have hurt John McCain. I’m not sure which PART of him got hurt though. No, but seriously, if massive sex appeal can be a negative, then (flirtatiously) I’m a little worried about my ratings on this show.
• Ten insurance workers in New Jersey will share a $216 million lottery jackpot. At the end of the day, though, they’ve still spent years living as insurance workers in New Jersey, so this story has no winners.
• In London today, Michael Jackson announced his farewell 10-concert series. The King of Pop is now 50-years-old, but you’re only as young as the children you feel. (Or: The King of Pop is now 50-years-old, but he still has the heart of a young boy. And a young boy.)
• A new version of the popular video game Rock Band devoted to the music of The Beatles was announced today. As a bonus feature, if you play any of the songs backwards, Paul McCartney dies.

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Tags: Dallas Cowboys, John McCain, lottery, Michael Jackson, New Jersey, NFL, Rock Band, Sarah Palin, Terrell Owens, The Beatles, video games

Jokes for Jimmy’s second show

The first night’s monologue was strong. I’m hoping that tonight Jimmy keeps up the pace (he rattled off jokes a bit quicker than Conan, Jay, or Dave do), and keeps things topical. Some ideas:

• Musical artist Prince will be releasing his next album exclusively in Target stores. This is what it sounds like when Wal-Mart cries.
• Lindsay Lohan is reportedly converting to Judaism. She’s given men and women a spin — apparently now it’s time for a dreidel.
• Both Britney Spears and Michael Jackson are planning comeback concert tours this year. And as a new host of a late-night talk show, let me just say: “Thank you, God.”
• A new study shows that animals can benefit from acupuncture. A spokesman for sheep warned that we should pay attention to the details of study saying: “You’re only supposed to put in a very specific kind of little prick.”
• Did any of you see The Bachelor last night? On the live episode that followed the finale, the bachelor dumped his fiancee and said he wanted to be with the runner-up instead. I haven’t seen a TV relationship end that fast since Fox cancelled Chevy Chase.

Can’t wait to see what Jimmy and his team come up with!

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Tags: acupuncture, Britney Spears, Chevy Chase, Jimmy Fallon, jokes, Judaism, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Jackson, Prince, Target, The Bachelor, Wal-Mart