Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 9, 2009
Some joke suggestions for tonight’s show:
- Nickelodeon won’t withdraw Chris Brown’s name from contention as “Favorite Male Singer” in the Kids Choice Awards, in spite of his recent legal issues. According to Nickelodeon, they won’t withdraw Chris’s name, because he can beat anyone.
- Federal charges were filed today against the college student who hacked into the email account of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. The student is expected to plead “not guilty, by virtue of being a Nigerian prince.”
- It was announced today that Ashlee Simpson will star on the CW’s remake of Melrose Place. But Tori Spelling will read the lines for her from off-camera.
- Dakota Fanning signed on to play the lead vampire in the upcoming sequel to the movie Twilight. Dakota Fanning in a vampire movie? That setup is ripe for jokes. I can’t wait to sink my teeth into that one.
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Tags: Ashlee Simpson, Chris Brown, Dakota Fanning, Melrose Place, Nickelodeon, Sarah Palin, Tori Spelling, Twilight
Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 6, 2009
As always (it’s easy to be consistent when you’re still in the first week of shows!) here are some joke suggestions for tonight’s monologue on Jimmy’s show:
- It was announced today that the unemployment rate is now topping 8.1%, the worst level since 1983. I’d have a joke about that, but we just fired all our writers.
- The New York Times ran a story today saying that President Obama has been using a teleprompter more than any past president. I mean, I’m sure he’s using it more than, say, Abraham Lincoln. That teleprompter was made of logs. I think Washington’s used smoke signals. But I mean, this seems a little bit like a non-issue, you know? The last administration did the same thing in their own way, just instead of teleprompter, Dick Cheney just used President Bush as a puppet.
- Because of a crackdown on illegal immigrants in Britain, circuses in the United Kingdom are now suffering from — this is true — a clown shortage. Man, whoever enacted that plan must have been a real Bozo. Sorry. I know, that was terrible. But if they really do want to find the guy responsible for this clown issue, they’re going to need to use circus-stantial evidence. I should stop now.
- Some parents are concerned about Nickelodeon’s plans to make a tween version of their popular animated “Dora the Explorer” character, with longer, flowing hair, a skirt, and long legs. The new toy’s going to be named “Dora the Sex-Whore-uh.”
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Tags: Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, circus, clowns, Dick Cheney, Dora the Explorer, economy, George W. Bush, New York Times, Nickelodeon, tweens, unemployment