Posted by Lex Friedman on Sep 1, 2009
Before the jokes, a big, important announcement: I am now the official host and editor at
JimmyFallon.com. I built the new site and will be providing all its content going forward — including jokes from here at Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon! So, head over to the unofficial fansite
JimmyFallon.com, if you wouldn’t mind. Oh, and here are today’s jokes — the real reason you came here today:
- Publishers are working on a new translation of the Bible that will use more modern language. The most prominent change is the new passage “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, LOL.”
- American Airlines announced that it’s firing 921 flight attendants. Seriously? 921? My guess is that they planned fire 920, and when the VP was flying back to corporate with the paperwork, no one gave him his honey roasted peanuts. Bam! 921!
- Lindsay Lohan is reportedly considering posing for Playboy. Teenage boys all across America are reportedly considering masturbating.
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Tags: American Airlines, Bible, layoffs, Lindsay Lohan, LOL, peanuts, Playboy
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 12, 2009
- Former President George Bush celebrated his 85th birthday today by skydiving. It’s the first time ever that the senior Bush has been higher than W.
- Heidi Montag, from I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, announced today that she’ll pose for Playboy, as part of the magazine’s “I’m a Talentless Hack, Get My Clothes Off of Me” issue.
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Tags: George Bush, George W. Bush, Heidi Montag, Playboy
Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 10, 2009
- Breaking news: Adam Lambert is still gay. I did not see that one coming. Almost as shocking as when he first came out, right?
- A bill in Congress would make it illegal for television commercials to be louder than TV shows themselves. So after talking to executives here at NBC, WE’RE MAKING SOME CHANGES TO LATE NIGHT WITH JIMMY FALLON!
- Former Playboy playmate and Hugh Hefner’s ex Kendra Wilkinson is expecting a baby with her fiancee, Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett. The baby will join Kendra’s great pair of twins.
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Tags: Adam Lambert, congress, gay, Hank Baskett, Hugh Hefner, Jimmy Fallon, jokes, Kendra Wilkinson, Philadelphia Eagles, Playboy, TV