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Jokes for Show #60

Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 5, 2009

The jobless rate has hit 9.4% here in the US. I’d tell you more, but we fired the cue card guy.
Susan Boyle has left a clinic where she was being treated for exhaustion. Meanwhile, I’m entering a clinic for people exhausted of hearing about Susan Boyle.
A Spanish newspaper printed photos of Italy’s prime minister hanging out naked with a bunch of also-naked women. Hey, remember when WE were the country everyone laughed at?

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Jokes for Show #57

Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 2, 2009

Ukraine today reported its first case of Swine Flu. They also just heard the news about Lorena Bobbit.
Newsweek is reporting that Americans are getting fatter during the recession. Well, duh. Can you say, Dollar Menu?
GM is reportedly close to selling its Hummer brand to a Chinese company. The Chinese company says that once they take over, if you crash your Hummer, a fortune will pop out. (Yeah, and the fortune’s gonna say: “You will need to buy a lot more gas very soon.”)

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Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 11, 2009

The producers of “Sesame Street” are cutting 20 percent of its work force because of the recession. The severance package for fired employees includes two weeks’ pay, and a free toy: Bend Over And Take It Elmo.
Forbes reported today that the world’s billionaires are feeling the impact of the recession just like the rest of us. Apparently, they’re now buying generic yachts.
Two teachers in Pennsylvania have been accused of having sex with the same thirteen-year-old boy. BY the boy.
Apple today released a new iPod shuffle, and the button-less device actually talks to you. Which is good, because if you buy such a pretentious iPod, no one else will.