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Jokes for Vacation Day #1
Posted by Lex Friedman on Apr 6, 2009
Jimmy’s off this week, but HireMeJimmyFallon.com is not. I’ve decided to write jokes for Jimmy each day this week, even though show isn’t taping new episodes. That’s dedication, my friends. Jimmy — a week off sounds like the perfect time for you to interview me, no?
- It’s Opening Day for Major League Baseball. So if you love $10 hotdogs and steroid-popping, muscle-bound foreigners, today’s your lucky day! The economy’s so bad, though, that baseball had to introduce a new rule: If you catch a fly ball, they need you throw it back.
- Researchers in Australia have found the actual, original Schindler’s List. It’s yellowed a bit hard to read, but the researchers have made out the phrases “milk” and “toilet paper.”
- Also in Australia, a pet dog that fell overboard in rough seas was reunited with its owners after surviving on its own for four months. I know what you’re thinking — how could that dog have survived? The answer is simple: Doggypaddling.
- Rapper Coolio has plead innocent on charges related to his drug bust at LAX last month. But his face says he’s guilty:
- A new study shows that more parents these days are getting their parenting advice on new babies from Facebook, instead of from books. In a related story, there’s been a major reported uptick in babies getting poked mercilessly.