Jokes for Show #88

Posted by Lex Friedman on Jul 29, 2009

A new report out this week concluded that tanning beds are extremely harmful. This came as truly shocking news to morons everywhere.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is begging for a role in the movie Twilight. Meanwhile, comedian Dane Cook is begging for a role in Jennifer Love Hewitt. Well, can you blame him?
Congressional Democrats have reportedly reached an agreement on upcoming health care legislation. Now they just need to wait for approval from their primary care physician. So we should have that law in, oh, three months.

Jokes for Show #6

Posted by Lex Friedman on Mar 9, 2009

Some joke suggestions for tonight’s show:

Nickelodeon won’t withdraw Chris Brown’s name from contention as “Favorite Male Singer” in the Kids Choice Awards, in spite of his recent legal issues. According to Nickelodeon, they won’t withdraw Chris’s name, because he can beat anyone.
Federal charges were filed today against the college student who hacked into the email account of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. The student is expected to plead “not guilty, by virtue of being a Nigerian prince.”
It was announced today that Ashlee Simpson will star on the CW’s remake of Melrose Place. But Tori Spelling will read the lines for her from off-camera.
Dakota Fanning signed on to play the lead vampire in the upcoming sequel to the movie Twilight. Dakota Fanning in a vampire movie? That setup is ripe for jokes. I can’t wait to sink my teeth into that one.