Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon! » Wal-Mart http://hiremejimmyfallon.com Lex Friedman's quest to get a job writing for Late Night. Sat, 19 Dec 2009 13:40:34 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Jokes for Show #59 http://hiremejimmyfallon.com/2009/06/jokes-for-show-59/ http://hiremejimmyfallon.com/2009/06/jokes-for-show-59/#comments Thu, 04 Jun 2009 21:14:54 +0000 Lex Friedman http://hiremejimmyfallon.com/?p=238
  • President Obama today made a speech in Cairo, Egypt. The President’s address began, “Egyptians, tell me, why do you all walk that way?”
  • After his speech was over, Obama grabbed lunch at the Infidelicatessen.
  • Wal-Mart announced today that it will be hiring 20,000 more workers by the end of the year. Unfortunately, each of those workers will hold the title of “Chief Firing Officer.”
    • ]]>     http://hiremejimmyfallon.com/2009/06/jokes-for-show-59/feed/ 1     Jokes for Jimmy’s second show http://hiremejimmyfallon.com/2009/03/jokes-for-jimmys-second-show/ http://hiremejimmyfallon.com/2009/03/jokes-for-jimmys-second-show/#comments Tue, 03 Mar 2009 21:28:00 +0000 Lex Friedman http://hiremejimmyfallon.com/?p=18 The first night’s monologue was strong. I’m hoping that tonight Jimmy keeps up the pace (he rattled off jokes a bit quicker than Conan, Jay, or Dave do), and keeps things topical. Some ideas:

    • Musical artist Prince will be releasing his next album exclusively in Target stores. This is what it sounds like when Wal-Mart cries.
    • Lindsay Lohan is reportedly converting to Judaism. She’s given men and women a spin — apparently now it’s time for a dreidel.
    • Both Britney Spears and Michael Jackson are planning comeback concert tours this year. And as a new host of a late-night talk show, let me just say: “Thank you, God.”
    • A new study shows that animals can benefit from acupuncture. A spokesman for sheep warned that we should pay attention to the details of study saying: “You’re only supposed to put in a very specific kind of little prick.”
    • Did any of you see The Bachelor last night? On the live episode that followed the finale, the bachelor dumped his fiancee and said he wanted to be with the runner-up instead. I haven’t seen a TV relationship end that fast since Fox cancelled Chevy Chase.

      • Can’t wait to see what Jimmy and his team come up with!

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