Posted by Lex Friedman on Jun 11, 2009
- Sonny and Cher’s daughter Chastity has announced that she’s been undergoing treatment to become a man. Her mother Cher announced that now she plans to complete her transformation into a human.
- The World Health Organization has declared a true Swine Flue Pandemic. Yeah, they’re recommending that you block your windows and doors with bacon.
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Tags: Chastity Bono, Cher, swine flu, WHO
Posted by Lex Friedman on Apr 27, 2009
Don’t forget that Hire Me, Jimmy Fallon! will be on Detroit’s 106.7 FM Tuesday morning at 10am! You can listen live. Unless we’re all dead from Swine Flu first.
- Anybody here have swine flu yet? Oh, who am I kidding, we all do.
- “Swine flu,” or as Alec Baldwin described it to his daughter… “Flu.”
- But seriously, this swine flu situation is scary. I mean, really, genuinely scary. First of all, I want to know who was making out with a pig. Because I think that’s how it jumps from pigs to humans, right?
- The World Health Organization today raised its “pandemic flu alert level” to 4, for the first time ever. New Yorkers are urged to report any suspicious sneezes they see on the subway.
- Oh, breaking news — this just in: Porky Pig is dead. I know, it’s tragic. He is survived by the delicious smell of bacon.
- Mexico, which has been hardest-hit by this swine flu outbreak, also suffered a serious earthquake today. Experts believe it was caused by one million Mexicans coughing up swine flu lugies in unison.
Update: I hadn’t realized that Jimmy was off this week. So, all week long, I’m writing Jokes and Jimmy’s not even on the air!
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Tags: Alec Baldwin, flu, jokes, Mexico, New York, swine flu, WHO